Idle American: When life seems whole

Accounts of folks “pulling themselves up by their boot straps” warm hearts; when such is done without boots, it’s a whole ‘nuther thing.

Wholeness, and I quote, was achieved in January when Brian Janak received a phone call he didn’t expect from a half-brother he didn’t know he had. (My weekly writing - usually with a humorous nugget or two - won’t result in grins this time; instead, tears may flow. But perhaps the river of time

will wash them away.)

I’ve known Brian, now a licensed Houston commercial real estate broker and graduate of Howard Payne University, since he arrived on campus in 1987, my second year in the presidency. My intent is to salute him, his faith and his values, intact despite a childhood essentially devoid of parental love that was provided briefly by a Black couple, the late Rev. and Mrs. D. C. McNeal. Thanks to them, Brian was nurtured for almost two years in their home before Rev. McNeal moved his ministry from San Antonio to the Metroplex when Brian was age 4. The youngster was returned to the care of his father, a victim of alcoholism whose wife allegedly died of liver cancer, a far cry from what his father had claimed. Instead, she died of a ruptured liver suffered in a drunken bout with her husband, Brian learned a few months ago from his half-brother. (There are many rough edges in Brian’s life. He

authorized my request to share his story, one far more condensed than I’d like. I have notes numbering some 25,000 words, and I’ll happily share them via email. My email address is at the bottom of this column.)

Except for the “McNeal years,” Brian was largely on his own, and he found life to be bumpy, full of challenges. Susan - his half-sister, eight years older - helped some, of course. But the children were basically on their own. Their dad’s sorrow was drowned many times, with nightly arrival back at

their apartment in wee hours, after bars had shut down.

For a two-month period, they lived in a self-storage facility. Susan - his half-sister of his dad’s previous marriage - joined the Army at age 18. Brian had a paper route at age 12 and worked weekends at a flea market selling stereos.

Major life influences for some 20 years were his teachers, coaches and friends, the latter sometimes leading him in the wrong direction. Most of his friends dressed better; one bad decision was his failed attempt to steal two pairs of Wrangler jeans at Montgomery Wards. He spent most of a day in

juvenile detention.

Surrendering to space challenges, I can only highlight the remarkable achievements of one of the finest graduates I’ve known over a 40-year career in higher education. His story amazes, and his friendship is highly valued.

Also intended is to underscore the value of Christian higher education, and to convey my ongoing conviction about the inestimable value of intercollegiate sports. (It is noted that Brian, an outstanding HPU quarterback, received grants but no athletic aid. At the end of four years, his

accumulated debt was $2,400, a figure paid off before he entered graduate school at Tarleton State University months later.) His life should be a model for anyone lacking self-confidence. Now, he and his wife, Hanh, who was a middle school classmate, have two great children, daughter Kyla, a

chemical engineering graduate of The University of Texas now employed by Kraft Heinz, and son Nathan, a junior at the University of Southern California who already is accepted into the university’s Masters Program of Public Policy. (For five years, Nathan had a starring role in Nickelodeon’s popular

children’s TV show, All That.)

Oh, back to the opening paragraph. Keep in mind that Brian’s half-brother provided minute details about the death of Brian’s mom. Brian had never doubted his dad’s story until that fateful call in January. The secret was kept from Brian for more than 50 years. Now 58 and with a keen memory of

hardships - such as making ketchup sandwiches for many meals before he was 10 years old - he values the sense of wholeness provided by the unvarnished truth. One reaction is a solid resolve never to drink alcohol in any form again.

Dr. Newbury, longtime president of Howard Payne University, lives in the Metroplex with Brenda, his wife of 60 years. Website: www.speakerdoc.com. Email: newbury@speakerdoc.com